Positive Thinking

I’m a generally positive person, by nature. At least I like to think so. Lately it has really been a struggle to keep smiling, though. I’ve dealt with severe depression in the past, and I am not there now, not at all. But having been there, and wanting never to go there again if at all possible, I am constantly on alert. Yes, depression is chemical and so on, but life situations can make you drop your guard. I know this well. And aside from the pain and trauma associated with losing a love I believed in, a love I thought was real, it all just happened so damn abruptly. One moment I was loving life, blissfully happy and in love, the next moment I am picking my shredded heart up off the floor. I had no time to prepare, the firm surface I was standing on was just snatched rudely from beneath me and replaced with betrayal, lies and abandonment. Add in the fact that winter is on its way and I loathe winter, and yeah, I’m struggling. I’m not superhuman.

So today, or at least right now, I am going to concentrate on the things that make me happy: Today is Halloween. I love Halloween. The sun is shining. My living room is clean. I had bacon and grits for breakfast. I have a new book to read. I still might get the job I’m trying to get.

And, of course, the number one reason to be happy and my number one reason for fighting to regain my balance and my spirit, my son. My son makes me happy. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I love him more than I even knew it was possible to love someone.

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7 thoughts on “Positive Thinking

  1. Depression is more than chemical. Your environment and thoughts also plays a role in it. Keep that in mind. It’s a biopsychosocial issue, not just a chemical one.

    That’s why if a therapist only offers you a drug, you should walk away. That’s not going to solve the problem. It’s only going to mask it.

    If you put yourself in a different environment or surround yourself with happy people, that might help to change the depression/depressive thoughts. Be careful. Depression, especially Major Depressive Disorder, it’s not something to take lightly.

  2. I’m trying to be aware, and so far I think I am managing. I’m not on any medication right now, haven’t been for a while. I’m concerned, because this is one more thing on top of a whole heap of crap to deal with, money issues, winter, my son’s special needs, etc. I’m planning to take checks every so often, and get back to the doctor if I need to. I am also aware that one of my issues is recognizing when I need help, so I’ve alerted friends to keep an eye on me as well. Plus, I’m writing, which actually seems to be helping, and I’m hoping I can get back into my studio and paint some in the near future. Not sure what to do with the piece I was working on for him, though.

    • 😀 That seems like a positive thing to do! I think it’s good that you’re alerting your friends, and it helps to understand your weaknesses. I hope things work out well and even better than before for you ^_^

  3. Pingback: WHAT TO DO WITH MOTIVATIONAL BOOKS « vibesbyrutchie

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